so i’m going to get right down to business.
i was just at the mall with jordan, strictly to pick up a plate of chinese food for a lazy supper.

as we were about to head out the doors, i remembered how chilly it was and went to button my cute American Eagle peacoat.
i always struggle with the chest button, thanks to my very ample bosom.
as i was clumsily doing up said button, some youngster bitch had the nerve to say “squeeeeeeeze! harharharharharharhar..” to her youngster bitch friend.

it took a lot of restraint to take the high road, pretend i hadn’t heard and stroll off obliviously, instead of setting her straight.
(it would have been pretty embarrassing to have my ass handed to me by a 13-year-old.)

first of all, no one deserves to overhear snide comments about their weight. didn’t your parents teach you goddamn manners?
one of the first lessons i learned in life was ‘if you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all’.
i realize that doesn’t jive with everyone, but whatevs. it’s always worked for me.

second of all, OH NO YOU DIDN’T.
i did not deserve that comment in any way. i’m not overweight, i’m not skinny. i’m average, with loads of muscle, and blessed with 34E boobs. so you can shove it.

that’s all.

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