so i’m going to get right down to business.
i was just at the mall with jordan, strictly to pick up a plate of chinese food for a lazy supper.
as we were about to head out the doors, i remembered how chilly it was and went to button my cute American Eagle peacoat.
i always struggle with the chest button, thanks to my very ample bosom.
as i was clumsily doing up said button, some youngster bitch had the nerve to say “squeeeeeeeze! harharharharharharhar..” to her youngster bitch friend.
it took a lot of restraint to take the high road, pretend i hadn’t heard and stroll off obliviously, instead of setting her straight.
(it would have been pretty embarrassing to have my ass handed to me by a 13-year-old.)
first of all, no one deserves to overhear snide comments about their weight. didn’t your parents teach you goddamn manners?
one of the first lessons i learned in life was ‘if you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all’.
i realize that doesn’t jive with everyone, but whatevs. it’s always worked for me.
second of all, OH NO YOU DIDN’T.
i did not deserve that comment in any way. i’m not overweight, i’m not skinny. i’m average, with loads of muscle, and blessed with 34E boobs. so you can shove it.