wordy wednesday.

hay hay hayyyy.

HAPPY JUNK FOOD DAY! 🙂
i think i may have to celebrate with a special treat later. if ya know what i mean.

hmmm. i also just realized its waffle wednesday, and i haven’t participated in weeks. that’s a sad, sad realization.
oh well, next week!

Part One of this Monstrous and Pretty Random Post: Goal Check-ins.

i’m very proud to say i made a small dent in my weekly goals!

1) my closet is 100% cleaned out and boxed up.

2) went for a good, hard and fast run yesterday evening. i was a little upset that jordan didn’t want to come with me, but i got over it and worked my little legs hard.

3) i’ve done about 10 minutes of yoga this week, did a 20 minute arm workout on monday and 20 minutes of abwork yesterday.

4) i worked on my recipe book for just a littttle bit yesterday instead of plopping down and watching spongebob or getting sucked into the internet. it made me pretty happy!

Part 2: My History with Mama Nickel.

i’ve always had a pretty interesting relationship with my mom.
it kills me to say this, but we’re pretty similar in some aspects.

one of our major differences is that my mom is very pushy, i am the exact opposite. i hate trying to force or guilt people into doing something they don’t want to.

but my mama, with her pushiness, just about drove me totally crazy when i was younger.
she pushed me to skate well over 20 hours a week, put me on the Atkins diet to lean me up for competitions, and put me through intense off-ice training with a relentless russian trainer.
yep, she was one of those moms.

i’ll never tell her this, but she was the main reason i quit skating. she sucked all the fun out of it, and i was constantly exhausted from the extra training and lack of carbohydrates.

anyways, when i quit skating (i was still in dance and acrobatic training a few times per week), i obviously gained some weight, because i wasn’t burning 1000 or more calories everyday through exercise.
my mom noticed right away, and put me on every diet she could think of.
after a couple months of this, i started thinking that i wasn’t allowed to just be happy with my body.
anddddd this is where my eating problems started, because i felt like i wasn’t thin or fit enough for my mom to be happy with me.

i’m not trying to make my mom look like a monster, i know she was just doing what she thought was best for me. she wanted me to max out my potential in sports, and she didn’t want me to struggle with my weight, so she tried to help. she just didn’t go about it in the right way for me.

Part 3: The Chat.

this weekend, my mom and i were just chillin’ on their deck, talking and having a beer.

Here’s how the epic conversation went:

Mama: “you’ve lost quite a bit of weight, haven’t you?”

Jayme: “i lost 10 pounds about a year ago, but not much more since then.”

Mama: “what do you usually weigh, if you don’t mind me asking?”

Jayme: “um… well. i’m around 130. i know i could drop a few pounds but I’m starting to be happy the way i am, and i’m still in a healthy range so i don’t feel like i need to …”

Mama: “no, no, you don’t have to explain yourself. you look good. you look healthy.

Jayme: *dies of shock* “………………. thanks mama.”

yup. my toughest critic said i looked healthy.
its the first time i’ve heard her say anything positive about my body since i quit skating.
i wanted to die of relief. i don’t feel like i have to try so hard impress my mom.
🙂

we went on to talk about what i’m doing with my life, when i’m going to school (she can only stop ‘trying to do what’s best for her daughter’ for a few minutes), and other mother-daughterly things.

sighhhhhhh.

well, i guess that’s all my rambles for today.

i have a full strength workout with some gymnastics planned for tonight, and maybe even a little baking.
need i remind you that its Junk Food Day?
no, i needn’t.

What is your relationship with your mom like? Did you have an overachiever, overprotective mom like mine?

What junk food are you going to celebrate with?

toodles! 😀

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This entry was posted in body image, goals, self and body love and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to wordy wednesday.

  1. Pingback: lovely weekend. | Cars and Carbs

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