the struggle part III.

for me, keeping a healthy balance is still a struggle.
i wouldn’t say it’s a constant struggle, but it’s definitely a … regularly occuring struggle? like once a week to once a month?

ah, you know what i mean.
sometimes i struggle.

and sometimes i actually WIN those struggles. (see what i consider my first blogged WIN! here)

last night, i won. i won biggg.
too bad it was kind of a fluke, so i’m not really sure what made it so easy to beat the struggle. argh.

here’s what happened:

i’m in the kitchen at like 9 pm making oatmeal chocolate chip cookies. which are my number one favourite, just FYI.
the kitchen smelled AMAAAZING, i had spare ingredients like cute little m&m’s and chocolate chips all over the place, not to mention the fresh cookies an arm’s length away.

and i didn’t eat ANY of it.

ok, that’s a lie. i ate a stray green m&m that made it into the seperate batter with only chocolate chips and walnuts, and i licked some dough off my fingers.

but yup. no spoonfuls of dough, handfuls of chocolate chips or m&m’s, and no fresh cookies were consumed.
and i didn’t even whine about it or feel deprived!
i can’t say i didn’t want one, because i could eat an oatmeal chocolate chip anytime, anyplace. but it didn’t drive me up the wall with cravings and guilt and all those crappy feelings that occassionally come with delicious cookies.

so.. what the eff did i do right?

here are a couple of my theories.

1) i had a slice of banana bread earlier, before i even knew i would be baking, as part of my new anti-feeling-deprived plan, which includes a small and decadent treat every day.
maybe because i had already had a small treat, i didn’t feel deprived or like i was wasting away, therefore avoiding the cookie monster attack.
2) i told myself a couple times that if i really wanted one, i could have one.
it works much better than having this internal conversation,

good jayme: “no, i can’t have one, its like 10 pm and I’m not gonna burn it off!”
rebel jayme: “i’ll show you, good jayme! omnomnomnomnom… ”

3) i actually remembered that we’re taking the cookies when we go camping this weekend, so i would be able to have a couple then. its not like they’re going anywhere.

the really wild thing is that i didn’t even realize that i didn’t have a cookie or many extra tidbits until i was snuggling in bed, that’s how easy it was.

it has NEVER been that easy to win.
i guess i won’t know exactly what i did right until the next time i’m in another ‘struggle’ situation.
siiigh.

oh well. i’m a little proud of myself anyways.

i went for another lovely (but still painfully slow, 11 minute miles again) run this morning.

I LOVE MY SHOCK ABSORBER! 😀

it was really hard to make myself start running (and thinking about potential races) again, but it feels soooo good to be back into it.

jordan even said he will come running with me when i go in the evenings! :O :O :O :O :O
he makes me happy as a clam.
he’s so encouraging and pushes me harder than i would.
he is also a verrry speedy runner, so hopefully trying to keep up with him will help my times.
wooo, i like having a running buddy!

butttt i think that’s all my brain will crank out for today.

happy friday! 😀

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